The Internet, and the World of Business

The two video clips below are very poignant regarding business and how we live our lives today.  They both, in my summation, articulate how corporate society and business communities, with our approval, fail to function for us, but collude against us.  Again, across the board, we choose to trust where it is not warranted.

Question is - how and when will we, as a nation, make the tough choices that will get us back on track, moving in the right direction.  The thing is, I believe, important things happen collectively after we make very important choices personally, individually.

It will continue to come down to our choices, there is no avoiding that fact.  Who among us make those moral judgements on a daily basis that benefit us all.  And, who do not.  Each of us make choices, or have them made for us everyday.  Question now is, what are you doing about it, for you!  Do you and I take small steps to move forward, do the right thing, daily?  And, when will those that drag us down, drain us of genuine progress be challenged, even confronted?  And, who among us know how to do that, in a good way?

I believe each of us have a good, positive step right in front of us.

Here is the link to the source of the first video: www.billmoyers.com



Helaine Olen, author of "Pound Foolish", describes the hucksterism at the heart of the personal finance empire.  Here is the direct link, www.thedailyshow.com

A Good Read: "Bailout"

Just watched this show from "The Daily Show" and this book and subject sounds more than interesting.  Confirms much of what we understand, when we're not indulging ignorance or avoidance of the truth.

Notice how the behavior of those in Washington DC and on Wallstreet affect our housing issues here in Minnesota.  What other questions might you think of regarding housing and homelessness in light of this awareness?

The author mentions being in a world that seems upside down. He also references the ego and narcissism of these people in charge of our banking system.

Part 1


Part 2

Thank You: Dan Pfarr (Bridge for Youth)

This is a huge Thank You to Dan Pfarr, Executive Director of Bridge for Youth. 

I just met with Dan at the new Lunds grocery store at 12th and Hennepin Avenue.  Dan was responding to my request for help with catching up on my storage expense.  It had lapsed because of my lack of consistent income, and not having yet launched into full fundraising mode.  Actually, I'm still working on how to figure out the logistics on fundraising, not yet having a checking account.  More about that later.

Dan Pfarr, personally mind you, donated $120 cash.  I am so glad for Dan's personal support for me and my project work.  A reminder, Dan was the key person who helped me receive a grant from Micro Grants for my laptop.

He is, on behalf of the Bridge for Youth, has been working on a Youth Technology Project, on which he asked me to participate on a committee.  The project is to use technology to help youth have better access to information and application to resources.  I made the first meeting, which happened to include people from around the country, over the phone.

Journal: Reactions, not Coincidental

I have to say, working on this project (or projects, 4 in total) has been quite the challenge. Often (and I mean often enough) on a deeper level. I bring something powerfully personal to the work. And, it's because of my personal experiences, education, work and practice that I bring a certain authority to the social table.  This, I believe also means a certain responsibility as well.

Making my story public, on MinnPost.com, and now needing to further tell the details of what's going on, where I'm coming from, lest anyone is mislead, or misunderstands. It sets up an enormous challenge to continue to be out there with my circumstance, that has stigma and judgement written all over it.

I need and want to start shooting videos to explain the projects, and I'm really stuck. I've always been reticent of putting myself online, so public.  But, I've worked through this kind of thing before, as a dancer and dance instructor, in front of hundreds at festivals.  

But, I've been reminding myself for months now, shooting a video would best show who I am, and what I have to offer.  I know what I need to do, and visualize how I need to do it, but still not getting it done. 

At times I've been really anxious when I think about doing the video.  More than that, the closer I get to doing it, I feel really enraged, more than frustrated.  For several days now, I can see that when I go through the process of visualizing what I want to say on the video, and have a clear mind, I then have a reaction.  This defensive reaction is clearly a old survival mechanism. 

I come from a background where I was devalued as a person, as a kid. Directly and indirectly.  I've done a great deal of powerfully deep personal work over the past 25 years. But, when this work becomes difficult, or new and unfamiliar, I'm reminded of that devaluing message. That "who do you think you are, you're nothing." It's not a metaphor, or simple thing. 

Sometimes, it really shakes my world. Like today.

Really.  What I'm most anxious about is losing all my things in storage. Especially, after someone, a medical student, has helped to pay for that storage space.  I would feel really bad to lose all my things after someone has actually spent hundreds of dollars to help me.

Uuuuugh.

If you're interested, and can help, please check out who's already helping.
See Blogger page, or Google Spreadsheet

CSR Origins on MinnPost.com

About a month ago Cynthia Boyd called me to ask me about being interviewed for a piece on the economy.  I said I thought I wasn't the best example for the subject, but Cynthia needed the story, being on deadline and all, and I have been needing and wanting, for a while now to get some publicity regarding my project.  So, we muddled through, exchanged edits and what you see is the result.

However, the subject being what it is, a direct follow up is warranted.  Why?  Well, my experience of society and the nature and brevity of the story, further explanation will fill in the details, lest anyone be misinformed, or mislead.

Unemployed in a weak economy: ‘I found myself in a shelter'

• www.minnpost.com/community-sketchbook/2012/12/unemployed-weak-economy-i-found-myself-shelter

Stigma, Marginalized and Ignored
I'm not sure where to begin here.  Clearly, no one wants to be identified as homeless.  And, certainly not the double punch of "Unemployed" or "Jobless" and "Homeless."  Each with it's own social stigma.  I will be clear here, I rarely, if every refer to myself as homeless because of the stink left from the stigma. 

Actually, more than that.  I will boldly say that I am a Success!  Even while in the shelter system. That's right, I said it.  And, will gladly articulate and argue the fact of that matter.  Anyone that disagrees with that either has completely different ideas of success, and/or does not care to begin to know my full story.

I don't know about you, but even explaining this much, I can feel the enormity and weight of this subject, let alone my vision of the whole project I'm working on.

And, by the way, this project is much more than a single website.  It's actually 4 full projects, that includes Blogger sites, Facebook pages, Twitter Feeds and YouTube channels.

Standing up for what is right!
To be clear, this project has everything to do with Human Rights, and Social Justice, besides simply getting missing information online.  And, I have continued to be committed to working on these projects, even after moments of question and doubt.

One of the first experiences I had, in the beginning, was one with a young man that was being harassed at Salvation Army.  Not only by other guests/residents, but also by a staff member, about being gay.  He contacted me through staff at the Catholic Charities Opportunity Center, Alex (Alexandra), that knew about the project work I was doing and was very impressed.  The person that was harassed wanted to write a blog story to put the word out so others would not have to experience the same thing.   

He originally contacted me through email.  So, I forwarded that email on to a contact, who forwarded it on to Steve Horsfield, then Chief Operating Officer for Salvation Army.  That afternoon I got a call from Steve stating that they knew Salvation Army's reputation wasn't very good on the street, and that they were working to change that.  Instead of writing a blog story, I focused on what this young man needed.  Not on changing all those people out there, so to speak.  Since he was on good terms with Jade, the supervisor of the program where he was staying, I simply walked with him when he returned to the facility, to support him, help emphasize (Salvation Army) addressing this issue.  Jade was aware of the circumstance, and very willing to address the issue.  As a result of this experience, this young man, age about 21 yrs, knew what it was like to be genuinely supported while dealing with a very difficult situation, that had to do with his very identity.  Because I knew what it's like in the shelter system, as well as 28 years of recovery from an alcoholic family system and sexual abuse at the age of 11, I was able to provide genuine help for this young man.

This was also the start of building good connections with Steve and Jade at Salvation Army.  Where Steve was so impressed by my project that he wrote a letter of recommendation, and donated money personally, as well as on behalf of Salvation Army.  A huge thank you to both Steve and Jade.

Being Paid for Work
The biggest challenge for me personally, and the most important aspect for the projects' success is finding funding and financial support.  A great deal of this project development is new to me. This whole environment of the helping community, the population that most needs help.  Especially the money part.  But, I've been successful in many other areas and times of my life, I've decided to take this on, and trust things will work out.  Again, I fully believe this is all about doing the right thing.

I've spent a great deal of time, too, thinking about creative and responsible ways to put together the financial part.  But, being creative, and coming up with good ideas only points in the right direction.  The process involves many steps, and many people along the way.  Long story short, my main philosophy is that the income and funding come from multiple sources, and types.  Meaning, it has already included personal and organization donations.  Not a lot, comparatively, yet gracious, none the less.  The plan is to also include business sponsorships, as well as foundation grants when available.

Between a Rock and a Meaningful Place

One thing I've noticed about doing these CSR community web development projects is that it especially forces me to deal with personal struggles and challenges. Yet, we can say that for anything we choose to do that means something. It's the nature of a spiritual life, facing and dealing with everything that comes up.

Over the past few months I've needed to ask myself just what am I doing, and why. Yes, the obvious is true, no one is doing this kind of community web development, and in this way. And, every time I mention this project, especially after explaining more of the features and details, no one has said "so and so is doing that."

But, there's been something that's been bugging me, and it's been so much in my face that it's been hard to see. As I go about the work of finding, keeping and posting information for those that have been marginalized and out of the mainstream, I have to notice how often I see the need and want to speak up about those situations. Especially, circumstances that can be avoided easily enough. And, especially when certain organizations or authority figures in the helping community are part of the problem.

So, there is a strong social justice aspect to this project, this work I'm doing, that really clarify's what's been bugging me. When a particular situation is bothering me, is it just a personal thing I need to deal with, or a definite social issue that needs to be addressed. You could say I've been doing a great deal of work if not speaking up, at least seeing things for what they are, and not "drinking the Kool-ade."

I have certainly annoyed people, and sometimes, I'm sure, I've made them pretty mad. Often, if not most of the time I had no interest in having to deal with the circumstance. But, I have committed myself to speaking up when I have the ability, and the interest. To get out of my comfort zone and help make my close community better. Even if I'm made out to be the 'bad guy', the whistle blower, or worse.

I don't want to be referred to as the bad guy. I've had to deal with being marginalized myself, many times in my life. It may seem corny, but I am committed to the truth, and trust that the truth will bring me a good life in the end. I'm still working on it, and waiting.

In regards to this community resource web development project(s), I will continue to bring issues and solutions (as I have them) to the public, for us all to face the truth.  The majority of that work, I believe, is simply seeing that we can do better.  Individually, then collectively.

But, it starts with the individual, from the inside out.  We need to start where we can be most successful.  With ourselves!

Contribution: Rolf at Restoration Center.

This is a shout out to Rolf Lowenberg-DeBoer over at the Central Lutheran Restoration Center.  Thank you so much for your contribution.

• Donation: 3 - $10 bus cards. 

 

What about Veterans?!

These are some videos that I happened across as I was clicking through my site, www.csrmpls.info, and the employment page.  I found them especially touching today.  Found myself tearing up.  Real courage sometimes happens long past the initial threats, and/or violence.  It's living with the scars, while daring to heal.  Emotional and spiritual healing really is all about choice.  Every day, every moment is about living instead of just surviving.

Or, maybe my tearing up about the fact that my father was a veteran in WWII, as a Marine.  He forged his mothers name at the tender age of 17, and followed his buddies to fight in the war.  He came back, bringing with him a stack of photos that both awed and shocked me.  He also brought back the trappings of one of the Japanese soldiers he killed, including his clothes, rifle, long (historic looking) knife, and other personal items.

My father was set up to be an alcoholic and he never recovered.  Period.  Even though he had long periods of employment, never was homeless, and even owned his own janitorial business.  And, other people paid for that choice to not face his demons.

These stories (videos) were not just interesting, but moving enough for me to stop and post them here.  I hope they're the same for you, and stirs some of you to think more, and do more to better support our veterans.  It's not about quick fixes.  It's about better relationship skills.  Living the fight for a better life, here and now.  Not what one wishes, wants and hopes to be or have.  What can I do right now.

My moto (as taught to me, by my mentor): Life, from the inside out.

I think the following video is a bit ironic in that Gabrielle Giffords took a bullet in the head while serving her country stateside. Women are tough, no doubt about it!

Vision, Headaches and Relief

My vision for this project has been pretty clear, with the hammering out the details being the majority of the work.  And, until the recent past couple of years, my eyes have been 20/20.  But, as with all of us as we age, vision, or our pupils tend to wear out.  Two years ago I bought my first pair of readers.  Let me tell ya, that was an odd yet curious experience.  I now know what it is like to look over my glasses at people.  Hmm, that’s what those old people were experiencing.  LOL…  (yes that’s ‘laugh out loud’, ha ha)

Within the past couple days I’ve gone from worried for my life, literally, to feeling relief that I felt relief.  Or, that I got relief from having headaches (with the potential for it, them) to advance into full grown migraines.  What do I mean by that.  The past few years I’ve been dealing with getting migraines on a more frequent basis, to the point of taking Excedrin Migraine, over the counter pain relief (actually, the knockoff brands) every day to stave off any potential threats.

Two days ago I could not begin to look through my glasses without feeling nerves in my head and eyes begin to ache, and even sting with pain.  So, then I thought, what the heck am I going to do about working on this project?!
The headaches and migraines combined with the fact that my father died from cancer of the brain, has had me yes, worried for my life.  And this project.  I started asking myself what will I do if I do have the big C.  For my father, he got a call from the doctor telling him he had 6 months to live.  Yes, a prognosis of death in six months in a simple phone call.  And yes, I was and still am filled with contempt for the behavior of a doctor to make such a phone call.  Yet, it didn’t change the fact I was the first person called when he was once again divorced again, drinking again, and not going to work.  And, I was the last person to leave the town of Amery, WI, after the house sold and I was once again free, and needing to move on with my life.  That was in 1980, when my father was 55 year old.

This year I am 54 and fast approaching the same age my father was when he got that fatal diagnosis.  As I remember it called “indifferential carcenoma”, although I may have not heard it correctly, since I was in my early 20’s and overwhelmed by the situation.  Much like my previous 21 year in an alcoholic family system.  I was just dutiful to my family, as I was taught.

Well, coming back to today, I’m still having trouble with my eyes going blurry when I use my glasses.  I’m told I need to get used to wearing them.  But, I do have relief from the headaches and migraine threat.  That’s a big deal, huge even.  Those of you who know what it’s like to have bad headaches and migraines know… and I mean KNOW the significance of that relief.

So, where does that put this project, since there’s still a lot to be done?

My first answer is “I’m leaving in God’s hands”, and yes that seems like a cop out, but no it really isn’t.  I’m just the gumption behind this project that is much bigger than me.  But, as soon as I can, I need to get the word out and begin finding others that understand and believe in this project as I do.  At least one, if not 2-3, that can step in and continue this work.  That means I need to keep writing about the vision, and the aspects that are not easily assumed. 

It’s a balancing act of getting the work done so I can see it and help mold it into it’s intended shape, with the need for written documentation regarding the details.

Hopefully, even this blog piece will shed some light on the direction of this work.

David

Add On Interactive Donates Services

This is a shout out to the folks at Add on Interactive (aka Add on Chat) for donating another 30 days of their service "Live Chat Support" to CSR Direct Services.  I just received word that Anthony at Add on Interactive gave another 30 days of their free trial service to give us time to find a sponsor or donations to cover the expense of this feature for CSR Direct Services.

Two weeks ago I requested they continue the Live Chat Support service on my account while I find financial resources, funding, sponsors, etc, to pay for the continuance of this service.  With the new laptop I was able to purchase (courtesy MicroGrants.net) I'm able, and want to be available to people as they visit the CSR sites, and check out the updates.  At that time, they gave me the 2 week extension, and now another 30 days.  But, they can't (and understandably so) extend it any further, if we can't purchase the services by then.

The Live Chat Support feature will be across all the CSR Sites, and offer help, information to visitors as answers are available.  At present, this feature is available to answer questions about the CSR projects in general.  Information about community services is limited, but follow up to questions unanswered at the time of the Live Chat is available.  If we/I  don't know the answer to a question, I will do my best to find the answer or information about a resource person that does.

For when I'm online and take questions, test out the Live Chat Support.

This image shows when "Live Chat Support" is not available.  Click this image for more contact options.

Thanks again to Add On Interactive for their help!

• www.addoninteractive.com

I have searched around and tried out other chat rooms and services and have found Add on Interactive to be the best company, best services available.  Services to be used by CSR Direct Services from Add On Interactive is and will be:

• "Live Chat Support" feature on each page, to offer a direct chat resource to answer questions for visitors of CSR sites.
• "Group Chat" feature to offer group chat rooms for safe public and private chats for socializing and discussion.  Currently, the group chat feature is a free version, and will have more features, better privacy, and added benefits to the CSR community when the upgraded services can be purchased.

2011 Homeless Memorial Events

I was actually looking forward to this days events. Besides the basic reason that the whole community comes together to physically be united, other than "helping", "fixing", or "organizing." Although, there is some of that here, to be sure. It also serves as a reminder that all of us are mortal. That death puts all of us at the same level, which is good. Probably the best way to put us all at the same level.

I will be adding photos and video soon.
Video: www.youtube.com/csrminnesota
Photo's: www.flickr.com/csrmpls

*Notice the vocals drops off when the drumming gets louder, then picks up when the drumming softens.  A function of the audio feature of the camera.

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These are human lives that can help us re-evaluate our own lives. Some of us already have, deeply. Some have in a limited way, some have yet to do so at all.

I do not pity those that we memorialize. I ask who were they, what did they do? Ultimately, what can I learn from their life, their successes, and their mistakes.

I don't think I knew any of them, but believe they'd want to be remembered.

Just like I would.

2011 Project Homeless Connect (#2)

Normally, I would be doing what could before hand to prepare for PHC. I'd be, most importantly, doing final edits to the flier for the project, and finding a way get them printed. These are the kinds of events where I can find the most enthusiastic kind of support. Yet, it's still not as strong as one might think.

However, this year I had already volunteered to help Open Access Connections with there service, providing voice mail numbers to the unemployed, poor, and homeless. OAC is still helping people in spite of having their main financial support cut during the recent Minnesota government shut down and spending cuts.

This time I was actually on the line helping fill out the forms for people. It was nice to be more productive, instead of half helping and half going around to promote my project. It's never a wasted experience, and especially good for making connections.

Journal: Music for the Soul

Sometimes, I just have to listen to inspiring music.  Musician's, Icons I've grown up with, singing the classics.  Here some favorites, for no particular reason except that I thought of them and/or found them.  Much more to come...

ENJOY!!!

Journal: Faith Communities & Homelessness

Lead by Congressman Keith Ellison, 5th District
More about it, click here...

I need to write more about this later, but this was a very good gathering of people of different faiths, and communities coming together to have more discussion about homelessness.

I don't have time right now to write all I want, but I learned one thing: I need to speak up more in meetings like this.

Journal: Mobile Blog / Threats

An encounter with Mike/Sam this am. Several weeks ago, said to me "I want you dead."

---

p.s. This morning I ran into a person who's been threatening, on a regular basis, for a good ten months.  Meaning, this person (goes by 2 names, Mike and/or Sam, waiting to get his full name for legal reasons) was in a bloody fight, in which I was involved in breaking up.  There's much much more to this story, or situation than I'm saying, or want to say here.  Suffice it to say, this person tried to apologize and act friendly this morning in front of a person we both know.  It was completely inadequate given the nature and seriousness of his threatening behavior over the past months and the rage he has directed towards me.

I've kept myself from engaging him to avoid drama, and worse (I do have 6-7 years of martial arts training), and still not act like anything was okay.  I certainly did not accept his attempt at an apology, because it was essentially a lie, convenient, manipulative.

I'm blogging this for a couple of reasons:

1. This kind of stuff is part the process of building CSR Direct Services, and the CSR web development projects.  It's part my story, my experience doing this work.
2. It's also fertile ground for social discussion.  What kinds of situations do you find yourself in, how did you get there, were there ways to avoid it?  But also, do you stand up when the situation warrants it.  Do you know how to stand up or speak up in a difficult situation?  Do you know what to say, but not confident enough to you liking?

These are all very good questions that each of us needs to ask.  Because life is.... life.  Unpredictable, even for the most safety conscious.

This was certainly another opportunity to see how I handle situations like this.  And, for the most part, I feel good about what I've been doing.  It's fairly difficult to know how to handle situations like this until one is in it.  There are too many unforeseen feelings and memories that can and will be triggered, even for the most healthy.  Especially for men.  Yet, society in general does a very poor job of preparing both Men and Women to handle difficult situations.

For me, I'm very glad for the decades of personal work and experience that's prepared me for stuff like this.  I remember deliberately facing my demons and weaknesses, decades ago.  So, I pull from many aspects of my life experiences and skills.

That's all for now, but stay tuned!

*p.s. means that this is an additional entry after posting from my phone, an experience or subject on which I need or want to write more.

Journal: Mobile Post / MOA

Down at the MOA this am. Cold out on this bright Saturday morning. Have yet to break out my winter parka, gonna need it.
Walkers down at the mall.

Journal: Mobile blogging

This is a test cell phone post  (my first)

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As of today, I now have the ability to post short messages on this blog via my cell phone.  It's a simple Sprint Sanyo cell phone, that is actually an older style, but it works just fine.

As I see it now, the best use of this feature is to immediately report or post regarding a current event, and then expand on that topic later.  This will be especially helpful when learning of a new service organization I've not heard of before.

I also foresee posting a note on something that needs to, or would be better researched further before posting a short, cryptic note with no background, or clarity.  Please take this into consideration when

Journal: Priority is Design

Right now, it's still the design that's my priority, my focus, not so much the content.  The purpose of the content to this point has been to help develop the design, which I've been happy with so far.  Although, it has been slow and sometimes arduous.  It seems I get to a certain place where I like how it looks, start going over all the current pages to get them cleaned up and looking right, and I change something on the current page.  Tweak it just a bit more, make it just a bit better.  Then, I have to go back to all the previous pages and tweak them the same way.  As it stands now, I have so many different tweaks on different pages, I need to go over all the pages to match them all up.  So, at this point, I need to pick one page (and not the home page, since it is a bit different) standardize it, maybe even draw out all the different elements in a graph book I have, and us it as a template for the rest of the pages.  It will be very good to be methodical and disciplined about this process.  My creativity needs to be on a leash, otherwise I wind up in the same boat I'm in now.

Currently, the main tweak change or modification has been making the horizontal navigation bar (7 buttons) a lite blue.  And then, the mouse over color would reflect the current subject matter. And, moving the 'bookmark and share' buttons to the middle of the navy blue vertical navigation bar.

Yes, this is a static (a word I don't like using) website, where every page is custom, or can be customized.  That's the nature of this software I'm using and works just fine for my purposes.

• www.csrmpls.info

Now that I've started this blog, I need to prioritize and block my time even more.  At some point I need to create a spreadsheet to keep track of all the pages, and the work or updates that's been done on each of them.

Journal: Landscape & Expecations

I've been realizing for weeks now that this is a huge project, a very large undertaking.  Yet, that's also why I'm taking longer to move forward, or get things done.  I do not want, nor will it be just another information website or web presence.  I also, don't want to take up a bunch of time trying to explain what it is, or organizing in words what it is, when I can show everyone what I mean by doing it.  But, then again that takes time too, and I end up hoping to get paid for the work after the fact, which is not good business practice, from what I understand.  Suffice it to say, I can not donate my work on this project, and I can not not do it either.

Over the decades, I've trusted my gut or intuition, for the most part, and it's served me well.  Especially, in regards to where I come from.  Yet, I still find myself needing to be more organized about the work itself.  There are so many parts and priorities.  That's the other reason for not being very organized right now, things are happening now.  Things in government, like the balancing of the Minnesota state budget, unfortunately on the backs of the poor and homeless.  Events that are important and relevant to this project, or just interesting to me.  But, I think it's okay to be right where I'm at, in regards to this project.  My vision and momentum can set my expectations a bit too high, try to do too much too soon.

I'm at the library, downtown Minneapolis, and it's closing in 10 minutes, so I need to wrap it up here.  I'll just end here with noticing that this is a good start at blogging about this project, and hope to continue.  One more thing on the list of things to do for this project.

Another very important aspect to this project... enjoy the process... don't stress about it.  At least, not more than what's normal or healthy.

Monday, Ugh / Holiday Season

This is my first blog entry for this site, and I'm not much of a blogger, but I am wanting to give it a try.

Today is Monday, December 20, 2010, and it's snowing pretty good outside.